Celebrate slowness

I came across this line as I browsed my Instagram feed this morning: Celebrate slowness once again.

Awww, exactly what I needed to hear at the moment. Yesterday, was a full day. I had a meeting at work for 8 hours, and a 3-hr night class, add to that hours spent for video lectures and quizzes + preparation for work meeting. I intended to work on my final paper for another subject after my night class, but my brain seemed to be telling me that she was tired and exhausted and could not process anymore. With bravery, I hid my To do list from my note-taking app, and declared that I would take a rest for the night. I need to calm my thoughts, I told myself. And so, I put aside my laptop, laid down, and allowed my thoughts to wander. I browsed my Facebook, looked at my pictures in Instagram, backread conversations in Messenger, and just did nothing. Haha! Well, that “nothing” was really a “something.” It helped me zoom out of my academic requirements and work responsibilities.

I had other ideas on how I would take a rest last night–do yoga, sing and play the ukulele, spend some time for art, or call my crush! But I did not have the energy to do those things, I really just felt like lying down and taking the day off. I also wanted to talk to God last night but I did not know how. I don’t even know what to say. And so, as mentioned earlier, I ended up resting with Facebook, Instagram, and Messenger.

I woke up early today, around 4am, and the sun has not yet risen. I found myself doing my favorite prayer practice: The Examen prayer. I looked back on my productive yet tiring day, and affirmed my decision of resting through the night. Then I planned my day using my [[Good morning Jassy]] template, with my [[Top 3 Daily]]. Aah, I missed using Roam research for my daily routine. (By the way, Roam research is a note-taking tool which helped me big time in navigating my thoughts and feelings since I started using it in April, check it out, guys!) I wrote all my thoughts in Roam as I did my Examen prayer and my Good morning Jassy routine. It was fulfilling and refreshing!

Next thing I knew, I was holding my phone and browsing my Instagram feed. Surprisingly, the posts seemed to speak to me! A flower delivery ad gave me an idea of ordering a bouquet for my birthday haha. Then came posts about staying in the moment, coming wholeheartedly to God, being connected with nature, sharing my gifts to others, and many more! I wrote down lines that jumped out at me, and would publish them in another post hehe. Oh, I love how God spoke to me through Instagram, I did not expect it!

After pondering on the words that struck me, I watched a video of myself singing “Lead me Onward” by Mid-Cities Worship. Awww, as I have said in the video, that song is one of my “pahinga songs.” My favorite line in the song is “I find my rest when I lean on You, Jesus.” I really felt comforted and rested as I sang to the lyrics of that song, and so I tried singing that song again with my ukulele. Then I stood by the window and stared at the trees while listening to the chirping of the birds. Hayy I missed my quiet times during my college days in our dorm. I recalled waking up early and going to our dorm’s garden to spend time with God to hear his word–literally, as I listen to Hardin ng Panalangin in the radio, and figuratively, as I read the Bible and try to understand God’s message for me that day.

All these memories and activities led me to open my phone’s Bible app and read the lectionary reading for today. I got interested with Psalm 111:2 which says, “How wonderful are the things the Lord does! All who are delighted with them want to understand them.” Because of the word “delight,” I thought of this blog–jassy delights. I asked myself once again, “Why the name jassy delights?”

Well, it came from the verse which says, Delight yourself in the Lord. That is what I wanted to do in life when I started my blog: to delight in the Lord. Also, I wanted to share in this blog things and memories that delight me, that gives me joy, that makes my heart smile and sing and be happy. I stayed silent for a while and reflected more on the verse. As I read it from different versions, I realized that Psalm 111:2 speaks much about what I want for this blog! It is about the wonderful things that the Lord is doing in my life and my desire to understand and make sense of them. Hihihi. And yeah, that made me want to open wordpress and write this post. I usually write up to 100 words only, but heyyy, 800+ words is worth writing if it is about life-giving moments like these! I’m glad I followed my heart and decided to write again after a long time HAHA!

I reminisced, learned, and realized a lot today, and mind you, it is just past 8am in the morning! More things could happen and I hope that the rest of today’s moments would also be worth reminiscing someday. Here’s a thank you post to the Lord for waking me up and letting me feel his love and embrace, reminding me to once again celebrate slowness with Him.

What things distract me?

Notifications. They are so distracting. When there’s a new message, a comment, or a like, I check it right away.

The urge to kwento whatever is on my mind. When working with a friend, I often find myself wanting to bring up a story, a thought, or an idea even though I know I should be focusing on my tasks. I almost always end up sharing whatever it is that I wanted to talk about.

Lingering memories. They take me to places without me noticing it.

Some distractions are enjoyable, but I must admit, some are not worth my time.

*Question 5 of #100jassyquestions #100dayproject

Home

There are people and places that feel home to us. Yung feeling safe tayo, pwede tayong mag-express ng sarili, pwede tayong maging kung sino lang tayo, komportable, magaan ang pakiramdam, we can dream, we can laugh, we can make mistakes and be forgiven, we can cry and not be judged, we can be just who we are. Ganern. Sa 28 years ng buhay ko, marami nang mga tao at lugar ang naging “home” para sa akin. Iisa-isahin ko sana pero yung top 3 na lang siguro.

1. UP. Maisip ko pa lang ang UP, pakiramdam ko agad pwede akong huminga. Haaaaaayyyy. Naiimagine ko yung mga puno sa oval, tapos naglalakad ako o kaya nagba-bike o nakaupo lang sa damuhan o sa upuan o kaya nakasakay sa jeep. Kahit ano pang ginagawa ko dun, feeling ko at home ako. Malaking bahagi ng buhay ko ang UP. Andyan ang dorm life at org life ko, mas nakilala ko sarili ko, na-explore mga ibat-ibang kaya kong gawin, nakasalamuha ko ibat-ibang tao. Nung college din ako natutong mag-set ng priorities. Surprisingly, marami pala akong ginagawa noon pero parang lagi naman akong may time for everything hehehe. Nakaka-happy alalahanin 🙂 Thank you syempre sa mga naging circle of friends ko noon– 239ers, UPCYM, DCF, UPCC, Buffet-ers (!!!), Eduk choir. Isama na rin natin ang Edcirc at GL hehehe. Ayuuun, masaya ang UP life ko. Nakaka-misss!!!
2. FCPC. Hihihi. Isang lugar pa ito na feel na feel kong at home ako. :)) Pag naiisip ko yung school, sumasaya ang puso ko haha. Naiisip ko mga happydays ko ng pagtuturo, pagko-coach, kwentuhan with coteachers at estudyante at iba pang staff sa school, storytelling ng children’s books sa kung saan-saan, Math club(!!), MTAP memories, field demo, intrams, teacher’s day, at iba pang events! Syempre mas fresh sa akin yung teacher memories ko dun, pero masaya rin naman yung elem at highschool days ko. Anywayy, nung nagturo ako sa FCPC, di ko talaga damang nagtatrabaho ako, as in! Feeling ko I am just living the life that I am meant to live. Ganern. Lupet diba? Hindi ako napagod nun kahit maraming ginagawa haha. O kung napagod man, walang-wala yun sa saya na nararamdaman ko hihihi. Nakaka-miss ang FCPC. Nakaka-miss ang school community. Oh, ang aking teacher heart! Haha ❤
3. Pinoy Psalms and Proverbs team. Syempre, di papatalo ang Pinoy team. Chos di naman ito kompetisyon hahaha. Anyway, pag naiisip ko yung team namin, natutuwa ako. At home kami sa isat-isa, komportable mula sa translators, project secretaries, hanggang consultant! Iba rin yung naging bonding namin kasi siguro andami naming napuntahan together. Iba-iba yung mga experiences namin sa ibat-ibang lugar. Nakaka-miss. Marami kaming kwentuhan, asaran, at kung ano-ano lang habang nagtatrabaho hahaha. Literal na tumawa ako dito at umiyak, hagulgol pa nga, sobrang dami kasing ganap. Haaaayyyy. Medyo malungkot lang ang ending, pero kino-consider ko pa ring home ang team na ito. Salamat sa meaningful memories!

Marami pang lugar at mga tao na hindi ko na ma-eelaborate–mga safe persons ko syempre, Herme friends, Peace Learning, library, kwarto namin owyeah, garden, bubong, CRL garden, bus, at dito ngayon sa Saguday. Hayy, miss ko na ang bahay. Pero sakto pa naman, saktong miss pa lang hehehe. Alam ko naman na kahit saan pa ako mapunta, pwede kong ma-feel ang home basta nakakausap ko ang mga loved ones at mga safe persons ko, tapos ramdam kong pwede pa rin akong mangarap, magdrama, at mag kung ano-ano lang, magpaka-ako lang hihihi. 🙂

Closing prayer

Binalikan ko ang aking 2019 ganaps. Amazing, nakaka-bless.

Thank You Lord for a wonderful year! Hindi mo po ako iniwan kahit gaano ako kapasaway. Salamat po. Salamat po sa nth chance para magbagong buhay at magbalik-loob sayo. Let me live my life na napapangiti kita. Sana maging pleasing po sa inyo lagi ang iniisip, sinasabi, at ginagawa ko. This is it, Lord. Bagong simula. Iwan na po natin ang nakaraan. Ready na po ako sa hinanda nyo sa akin for this year. Be with me always, Jesus. I love you po.

Salamat po sa panahong binigay nyo sa akin para magmuni-muni. Salamat sa mga taong nakausap, mga lugar na napuntahan, mga thoughts na nasulat at nadrowing at nakanta. Magmumove-on na po ako. HAHAHA. Be with me, Lord. Amen.

Looking back on my teacher days

When asked to introduce myself, I usually say, I was a Math teacher. I always say that because I am proud to be a teacher. And I do feel happy remembering my teacher life.

Yes, I was a Math teacher. I taught for two years in the school where I graduated elementary and high school. Being co-teachers with my former teachers was one of the things I see as an accomplishment in life haha. Yea, it was heartwarming to teach alongside the teachers who taught me the basics in school and in life. Of course I also had young co-teachers, many of us were fresh graduates from college, and that made it easier for us to relate with each other and become good friends!

I experienced many things in my two years of teaching— I taught Math to Grade 5, 6, and 8 students, tried teaching music, arts, play, and other stuff to Preschool Education college students, coached for Math contests, revived the Math Club, joined storytelling contests, read children’s story books to students and teachers on random days, launched my Encouragement Project, played ukulele during events, sort-of mentored practicum students in teaching, made friends with my fellow teachers and staff, enjoyed being a supportive adviser to Grade 6-Industry for their dance and sports endeavors, and many many more! Hayyy, looking back on those good days always makes my heart flutter. I truly love teaching, I really do. I love sharing my time, efforts, knowledge, ideas, and whatever I have to people who might benefit from it. Oh, indeed, I miss teaching!

Writing this confirms in my heart that indeed, teaching is my thing. It is what I love doing. It is what I would want to do even with little pay. It is what I want to be doing when I grow old. I hope I could go back to teaching someday. 🙂

You may ask, What triggered these thoughts, Jas? Don’t you enjoy your work as a Bible translator?

Haha, not that I do not enjoy my present work. I enjoy translating, yes, it’s true. I also like the relationship I have with my teammates and with our consultant. It’s just that uhm, well, okay. I visited my school today and bonded with my favorite teacher. She toured me in the school, and the memories, plus the feelings, just came rushing in! The school environment made me excited. The people, the place, the atmosphere! Haaaaay.

Since I left teaching, many have asked what I will do now with my Math skills. I always say, we’ll see. I might go back to teaching someday. Let me just finish this project. I really like this project that I’m working on that’s why I cannot let it go. 🙂 We’ll see, guys. If teaching is meant for me, I will surely go back to teaching. Someday. Don’t you worry, friends.

Again, don’t get me wrong. I love what I do now as a translator. Teaching and translating are two things I cannot compare. They are special in their own ways. Maybe my emotions were just triggered haha. I guess, I am just being raw and honest right now. Obviously, this is just how I feel right now. Ooooh haha.

Why so defensive, Jas? Hahaha.

Jamming Time

Ngayon na lang ulit ako nakapaggitara with friends. Magandang pakinggan yung kantahan namin kanina, swak yung mga boses namin sa tunog ng gitara, kasabay pa ng ulan. Nakakatawa nga lang kasi tuwing bibirit ako, biglang lumalakas ang ulan. Haha.

Halos mga kanta nung highschool ang tinugtog namin, lahat tuloy kami napapangiti. Dami kasing alaalang kasama ng mga kanta. Yung iba may mga kwento, yung iba wala lang. Basta, mga kanta yun nung panahon namin.

Sa lahat ng kinanta namin kanina, pinakanagustuhan ko yung When you say nothing at all. Kinakanta kasi namin yun noon tuwing MTAP review sa library. Natutunan ko rin ang second voice nun. Kanina, nirequest ko na kantahin ng kaklase ko yung melody para ma-practice ko yung second voice (kung kaya ko pa!)

Tinugtog ko yung pangalawang stanza, kinanta niya yung melody, sinabayan ko ng second voice. 

Kumanta na nga kami, na akala mo e sigurado sa tono. At napangiti na lang ako, labas dimple. Ang sarap pakinggan 🙂 Tumahimik yung mga kwentuhan, pati ulan at hangin nakinig. Napanganga rin yung iba pa naming classmates (o baka akala ko lang pala haha) habang nakikinig.

Ang sarap kumanta. Pakiramdam ko nagningning mga mata ko kanina habang kumakanta at inaalala ang highschool memories naming lahat. 🙂 Naalala kong nagduduet din kami ni classmate dati pag naghihintay kami ng teacher. Napailing ako sa tuwa kasi kaya pa rin pala naming kumanta nang sabay, nasa tono pa rin. Napangiti na lang talaga ako. Ang galing! Yey! Sa uulitin!

Sofa Thoughts

Humiga ako sa sofa kanina at pagpikit ko, maraming bumalik na alaala.

Naalala ko nung humiga ako sa faculty lounge namin sa school kasi masama ang pakiramdam ko. May nakakita sa aking ibang teacher at sinumbong ako sa coordinator ko. Nung nasa clinic na ako, pinagsabihan ako ng coordinator ko na wag na akong hihiga doon para walang masabi ang iba. Dumiretso na lang daw ako sa clinic pag di okay ang pakiramdam ko. Simula nun, napadalas na ang paghiga ko sa clinic hehe.

Naalala ko tuloy yung araw na pumasok ako kahit hinang-hina ako. Na-guilty ako kasi pangatlong araw na akong absent, at huli na kami sa lessons, e kailangan nang mag-quiz. Kaya pumasok ako. Pero akala ko lang pala kaya ko na. Halos kakaupo ko lang sa classroom, naramdaman ko agad ang hilo. Ayun, balik clinic. Di ko na ikukwento anong nangyari pababa galing sa Room 501. Basta, okay naman na ako hehe.

Naalala ko tuloy yung mga araw na nasa school ako at nagtuturo. Nakaka-miss. Noon, parang tuloy-tuloy lang ang mga araw, hindi ko nararamdamang nagtatrabaho ako. Basta para lang akong nabubuhay. Ibig kong sabihin, nung nagtuturo ako, dama kong masaya na ako sa ganung buhay. I felt like I’m living the life I want. At palagay ko naman, yun din ang buhay na gusto ng Diyos para sa akin nung mga panahong yun. Seryoso. Ewan ko lang ngayon. Hehe. Darating din tayo diyan.

Naalala ko tuloy yung sabi ni Ate Love sa akin dati, “May iba-iba tayong calling sa ibat-ibang panahon.” Something ganun. At in fairness, sang-ayon ako sa kanya. Saan kaya ako tatawagin sa susunod? 🙂

Writing memories

If I am to write a book, it would be about my memories. Those are my treasures and I want to immortalize them by writing them down in a book.

When I was in college, a classmate told me that I write my memories too long. I really felt down those times and tried to limit all my journal entries to just 100 words. Then little by little, I felt so restricted that I became reserved in writing down what I really want to say.

Tonight, I am giving myself permission to write memories using all the words I need. (I actually intended to write this particular entry using 100 words, but HAHA I want to break that for now) May this entry remind me to write from the heart, without any reservations :)) (Though, of course, there will be times when I will choose to use just 100 words in writing down my memories, and that’s okay. I don’t see any problem with that at all. Hehehe) 🙂 ❤

Moongazing

Pag nakakakita ako ng buwan,
Naaalala kita.
Naaalala ko yung moongazing natin.
Grabe no, nakaka-miss.

Dami nating napagkwentuhan nun –
Yung childhood days mo sa probinsya,
Mga ibig sabihin ng mga kanta,
Saka kung anu-ano pa.

Nakaka-miss ka naman.
Salamat naging close tayo.
Salamat sa pagkakaibigan.
Ang tanong, hanggang dun na lang ba talaga?

Hahaha uy wag mong seryosohin!
Pero kung gusto mo, pwede rin. 😉
Pero kahit gustuhin pa natin
Di naman pwede e, alanganin.

Basta.
May basta kasi.
Ayoko nang sumingit.
Ayoko namang mangulit.

Ayoko ring umasa
Kasi wala naman talaga.
Titingin na lang ako sa buwan
Tapos aalalahanin kita 🙂

 

Hi Cha!

Natutupad na ang pangarap kong maging coach para sa Math contests 🙂 Napaka-nostalgic ng feeling – yung library, yung saya ng pagre-review, yung walang katapusang pagsasagot ng Math books at syempre yung excitement at kaba kapag laban na.