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mixed emotions

I called a younger friend, she asked how was my demo.  

“I was hired,” I replied.  

“Why aren’t you happy?”

 

Haha. Ehem. More kwento soon.

Sayang. Hindi ko nasabayan ang mixed emotions ko kanina. Hope to blog about it soonest! 😀

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Paano malalaman ang best?

God speaks to us in many different ways. 🙂

Malaking bagay ang pakikipag-usap ko sa mga kaibigan ko. I spent six hours talking with my best friend about my career plans – shall I start teaching now or enter the field of book publishing? I have a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education, with area of concentration in Mathematics, and I studied to learn how to teach.  I enjoy teaching and sharing my God-given knowledge in Math.  I am excited to see students have their “aha!” moments in Math.  But my cooperating teacher offered me a job – to be a Math Editor in a publishing house.  I was thrilled with the idea of being an editor and seeing my name printed in a book. Ooh, also I wanted to know how it is in there.

Hmm.  I applied as a teacher and took an exam in my Alma Mater today.  I went there with my twin brother who applied as a History teacher.  Our demo was scheduled on Friday 10am.  On my way home, my best friend texted me about my plans to work. Ohh, I just wanna cry that moment inside the jeepney; her message was just what I needed.

Congrats sa pagsablay! 🙂 Sana wag mong kalimutan ang mga gusto mong gawin sa buhay at wag ka sana mapagod or tamarin magturo.  Wag isipin na magsisimula ka pa lamang sa tunay na buhay kasi baka ipagpabukas mo ang paghahanap ng opisyal na trabaho – bagkus ay ituring na tinutuloy mo lang ang nakasanayan at minamahal mong gawin.  Wag tumigil sa pagkilos at paggawa dahil sa trabaho makikita ang mga natutunan mo at ang passion mo. 🙂 Kayang-kaya mo yan Jas! God’s grace!

Haay, I dropped by her house right away. It was a blessing talking with her. Haha. After 9 long months, we finally saw each other again! Yey! 😀 I shared her my thoughts, my reasons, my hesitations, my reservations, my excitement, and whatsoever is in my head and heart.

We have decided what I should do.  Go to the publishing house the next day, and then wait for two weeks if they would hire me.

That’s the plan… Until before 5pm, the school where I applied earlier, called. Our demo was moved tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. Aaahh. I didn’t know what to say.  I know I did wrong when I mentioned about my plan to apply to a publishing house huhu. Sorry. I’m really sorry.

My brother and I decided we would push through the demo. So now, here I am, preparing my lesson plan. (Oh, haha, I’m blogging right now, but this is part of my preparation. I need to spend my quiet time.)

Romans 12:2

New International Version (NIV)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

What is the pattern of this world? Selfish. Oooh. That’s the first word I thought of.  Selfish. 😦 If I am to obey what God says in His Word, I shouldn’t be selfish.  Why do I want to teach? Do I really want to be an editor? Why? Why am I still double-minded? James says that,

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Ehem.  What do I really want to do? Hmm. Change the question.  What does God really want me to do?

Earlier, I talked with a friend thru FB chat.  We have just graduated and so the default topic would be Work.

Friendsana makahanap tayo ng magandang trabaho
Akohaha tama
haay. yung best ang plano ng Diyos para sa atin
madaling sabihin pero may times na ako mismo kinakabahan

 Friend: pano malalaman na yun yung best?
 Ako: yan ang hindi ko masasagot ng direkta hehehe
     paano nga kaya?
Friend: di ko rin alam girl :(((

We were talking about the job opportunities that we have and how we could know which is God’s plan for us, when a Bible verse popped up in my mind. Romans 12:2

(We had a long conversation but I will attach it here later after my demo.)

In all honesty, why do I want to be a Math Editor? Hmm. I can feel I will have higher salary. New experience, new world. Sounds interesting and exciting.

Why do I want to be a teacher? Hmm. So that I could share what I know, I could share God’s love to my students. Oh. This means something.

Her words made me remember what I wanted to do all along. Huhu. I think, uhm. Hmmm. I’m pretty sure I really want to be a teacher this school year. 🙂 Oooh. 🙂

Haha. What a change of mind! Oh, wow! Change of mind. Hmm. Is this really for real?  Does this mean I am now deciding to do my best in applying as a Math teacher? Oh, if this is your plan Lord, so be it. Let Your will be done, God. Hmmm. 🙂

Haha. I didn’t expect this. I think I’m finally deciding to stay. Hmmm.

Lord, I surrender to You my plans. Thank you for speaking to me through many ways. Help me listen to You intently, my Lord and my God.  Be my greatest Teacher. I love you Jesus! 🙂 Thank you Lord. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 🙂 ❤

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No shouting, please. Loveyou.

I get upset when people shout angrily. I get deeply disappointed. 😦

Seriously.

I can’t find any valid reason for a person to shout. :/

 

I have seen and heard people shout.  Let me call them the “shouters”.

Most of the time, I don’t need to ask the shouters why they do the shouting because they themselves say it aloud:

  1. To release anger in the hope that they would feel better. “I’m so angry, I would burst. I need to let this go!”,
  2. To express disappointment towards something or usually, towards someone.  “I am not happy with what you are doing. Will you please stop that and do what I expect you to do?”
  3. To call someone’s attention and get them to listen to their feelings or opinions.  “Hey, look at me! Listen to me! I’m talking to you!”

Whatever their reasons are, I still get upset when they shout at me or at anybody. Hmm, sadly, they actually see shouting as the best way to communicate at the moment.

 

If you are a shouter, please take time to read these three reasons why you should not shout:

  1. Most of the people I know don’t like a shouter.  They don’t like to receive the stress a shouter brings.  If you shout to feel better and release your anger, please know that your shouting makes us, hearers, feel worse. Think of us also, thank you. 🙂
  2. Giving commands in a harsh way is the best way to annoy a person.  It will only lead to greater misunderstandings and disappointments.  With that manner of expressing, do not be surprised to receive a negative response.
  3. Honestly, I don’t like paying attention to someone who is scolding me. Well, who would want to? Even you do not like it, am I right? So, I advise you to avoid shouting when calling someone’s attention; you’re only giving that person another reason not to listen.

If you are a “victim” of a shouter, here are some thoughts that might be helpful.  I do this when I encounter shouters.

  1. Keep quiet.  Don’t make things worse by shouting back.  Let the shouter release his or her anger for not more than five minutes.
  2. Speak softly.  Express what you feel in a nice manner even when someone shouts at you and then hope that he or she would calm down.
  3. Pay attention, but not too much.  Give them the attention they need or demand.  Listen to what they are trying to say.
  4. Lastly and most importantly, forgive them. I’m pretty sure they do not know what they are doing at the time they shouted. Hurting you is not their real intention, so learn to forgive them.

 

I hope you would find these helpful and would apply it to your daily lives. 🙂

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19

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The Art of Befriending A New Person

I can say I have a lot of friends: Best friend, close friends, high school friends, college friends, new friends, random friends, and even facebook friends!  Oh, I thank God for giving me such wonderful friends! (Now, I’m just waiting for Him to give me a boyfriend. Hihi. Just kidding.)

Today, let me share to you the art of befriending a new person that I have mastered from my experiences. But first let me define a new person by giving you some examples:

  • the one sitting beside you in a bus
  • a dormmate who came in the laundry area while you were washing your undies
  • a classmate who came in late at the first day of class
  • a schoolmate who for the first time ate lunch where you regularly eat with your friends
  • the newest neighbor at your street
  • the barker who told you which jeepney to ride
  • the guard at the bank who always smiled at you as you enter
  • a mother who joined your table in a fastfood chain
  • a guy selling earrings at the overpass
  • a girl grilling barbecues at the street corner

Whoever that new person is, if you desire to befriend him or her, you should decide to make steps to know him or her better and then do them.  If now you still don’t know what to do, I have some tips for you. 🙂

  1. Smile.  A friendship starts with a smile. Through this, you are communicating that you are happy to see him or her and would be happy to talk with him or her, too.  If he or she smiles back, be glad and keep smiling.
  2. Speak up.  Say hi or hello (while still smiling).  On my experience, I always start our conversation by asking a question.  If I’m on a bus, I say, “Where are you headed?” If inside the classroom, “What did our prof just say?”  If on the street I say, “Excuse me, I am just new in this place.  Do you know how could I go to that place?”  Learn to ask the right question depending on the situation.  Be sure that you would listen to the answer.
  3. Say your name. Introduce yourself right away so that he or she won’t be hesitant to talk with you.  Say a little something about yourself or why you would want to talk with him or her (make it brief, not more than 10 seconds).  Ask his or her name.  This is important to make your conversations more personal.  Calling people by name is a way of recognizing the worth of a person. If you call a new person by his or her name, that person will feel important and accepted.

Sometimes, I introduce myself after being comfortable with the person, saying “Oh, I forgot to introduce myself.  I’m Jas, and you are?”  Other times, I start the conversation by saying, “Hello, I am Jas, and I just wanted to talk with you so that we won’t be bored while washing our undies. Is it okay with you? What’s your name by the way?”

There.  I have gained new friends because of the 3S – Smile, Speak up, Say your name.  Those need not be done step-by-step.  Just make sure you do it all. 🙂

And one last thing:  In order to befriend someone, be a friend. 🙂

 

 

*This is in response to the Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends?