What a question from the Question Diary! Pondering on it, I realized I do not always feel loved. It depends on who I am with. Sometimes, I can feel their warmth and concern, other times, I would feel insecure and threatened. So to give myself some love boost, I thought of listing the times when I feel loved.
1. When my officemate tells me to eat first before telling them stories.
2. When my classmate agrees that we go home together.
3. When my bestfriend invites me to hang out with her.
4. When our dog jumps at me every time I go home.
5. When the kids that we teach smile as we arrive.
The world is such a lonely place and I guess the only cure for this is to love even in the simplest ways. But one may ask, How can I express love when my love tank is empty? Hmm. That reminds me of a poem I read years back:
If God is love, the source, the spring,
Should not the lover pilgrimage there–
Reverently seeking supply–
That the cup he gives will not be dry?
Grabe ang pag-ibig ng Panginoon sa ating lahat. Walang katulad.
Mahal niya tayo kahit marami tayong pagkukulang. Grabe. Nakakalunod. Ibang klase.
Mahal niya tayo kasi mahal niya tayo. Walang kondisyon.
Wala tayong dapat patunayan. Hindi na natin kailangang magpakitang-gilas pa.
Sigurado ang pagmamahal ng Diyos sa atin.
Ang tanong, gaano naman natin kamahal ang ating Panginoong Diyos?
Panigurado, di natin matutumbasan ang pag-ibig niya. Di natin kaya. Basta, ang nais niya, mahalin natin siya nang buong puso, buong isip, buong kaluluwa, at buong lakas.
E kumusta naman ang pag-ibig natin sa kapwa?
Nagmamahal din ba tayo nang walang kondisyon? Ehem.
Oh, thank You for Your grace, God.
I don’t deserve this.
I know I don’t deserve this.
But still thank You dear Jesus
Thank You for Your love
Which I do not have to earn.
(coz I really can’t earn it)
Thanks for gracious promises
Thanks for keeping them
Even at times I fail You.
Your unconditional gift
Is free, always free.
Give me faith to receive it.
Indeed, I don’t deserve all
Your love and Your grace.
Oh, thanks for loving me still.
Thank You, God. Thank You.
Gracious God, give me the faith to receive Your promised gift of love, and free me from the belief that I have to earn that love. Amen.
Mama left for Singapore early this morning and she’ll be back on November 8. As usual, we prayed together before she left. Mama was about to start the prayer when Papa said, “Okay, Jas, lead the prayer.”
Oooh, that was something new. Mama seconded that I lead the family in prayer. She told me to pray for her.
Yes, of course, I thought.
Then she said, “Pray also for the patience of all of you here at home.”
And so I prayed. I prayed for Mama’s safety and fulfillment on her travel. Then I prayed for a productive weekend for all of us left at home. I hesitated to pray for more patience, concerned that they might get offended. I wanted to pray for more love at home, but I held back my words. It was kind of awkward to say it aloud. I mean, how would everyone react if they hear the phrase more love at home? (We don’t usually talk about love at home hehe.)
The prayer ended without me saying all that I wanted to lift up to God in prayer. Oh, next prayer time if I’ll be asked to lead again, I hope I could say my prayer without reservations. 🙂
Upon writing this, I realized we should start talking about love little by little so that it won’t keep on being a taboo inside our home. Maybe by saying and hearing the word love more often, we could be able to express our love for each other more naturally. Oh yeah! HAHA
If I will be asked what I truly desire right now, it is quality time with my family. We lack that. We often have no time for each other. I, too, am guilty. Yeah. I just wish we could be together and spend real time with each other, share and listen to each other’s stories, sing songs, dream dreams, exchange smiles and hugs and kisses, dine together, play fun games, and do just anything together. It seems impossible right now but I know this will surely happen in God’s time. Yes, please, Lord Jesus, fill our family with love. Amen.
You have poured out Your love for us when You shed Your blood on the cross 2000 years ago. Thank You for Your love. Now, I pray once again that You may fill us with Your love, Lord. Fill our family with love for each other. Fill our home with love that comes from You. May we all taste and experience the goodness of Your love and grace. May we let each other experience Your love, mercy and grace. May we be a family that seeks You and delights in doing Your will. May we praise and worship and serve You together as a family. This is my heart’s greatest desire now, Lord – that we, Crismo family, would come together to know You more and love and serve You and each other more and more each day. May You grant this desire of my heart, Lord Jesus. Thank You for Your love, for this life, and for our family. I love You, Jesus. Thank You for loving me. Amen.