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Confessions from my younger self hehe

I was loud.
People thought they knew me a lot.
But actually, they didn’t.

I was great in hiding my feelings, thoughts and emotions. I chose intellectual topics to avoid personal ones. I didn’t speak about any of my crushes nor my embarrassing moments. I created an image I wanted to present and maintained that “image.”

But thank God, He reminded me that it’s okay to get personal. To say what’s in my heart. To be me. No need to restrict myself nor wear masks. No need to be impersonal.
I just got to live honestly and love truly. Oooooh. 🙂

 

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Oops!

Okay, so my older sister had just arrived. I smiled and welcomed her home. She came near me and started to rant about the tricycle driver who intended not to give her P 2.00 change. I said, “Ikaw naman.”

Her mood changed. She raged. I was speechless. Didn’t know what to say. Well actually, need I say more? I had just hurt her feelings. I chose to be silent. But soon had to break it. We had one-liner conversations, as if words were carefully chosen but actually weren’t or well I don’t know, I was shaking inside so I didn’t had much time to think and analyze what had just happened or what were the implications of what I had just said.

Then there was silence. Awkward silence.

I was finishing the prints for our church bulletin but because of our cold war, I can’t seem to concentrate. I know it is not proper to do something for God while ignoring my conflict with Ate, how petty it may be. So I paused working and browsed my News Feed instead.

Being the idea-and-random-thoughts sharer that I am, I usually talk about the posts I see on my Feed. But since I can’t speak with my Ate that moment, I settled on sharing my thoughts to my Auntie instead. My Ate was sitting near her, just there sitting and saying nothing. Oh, yeah, just there.

Then I knew I had to break the silence between us.

She started to get herself ready to sleep. She passed by me three times and I didn’t speak a word. On her fourth time, I bravely, yes bravely is the term, called her and asked, “Ate, nakita mo na tong post na to?”

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She stood beside me and answered, “Oo, di ko nga magets yan e.” Then she went to her room. My heart leaped, HAHA yehey! Hello reconciliation! Thanks to this meme we started talking with each other again.HAHA

I don’t know what else to write. I started writing during our awkward silence. I only intended to write how sorry I feel then, and my would-be plans to make things right again. Surprisingly, I had just started writing when we got reconciled! Haha honestly, I didn’t expect it would be that fast and easy! Thank You Lord! 🙂

Tapos na ang tampuhan, kwentuhan na ulit! Yehey!

And of course, back to offering my talents to God. ❤

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Moongazing

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Pag nakakakita ako ng buwan,
Naaalala kita.
Naaalala ko yung moongazing natin.
Grabe no, nakaka-miss.

Dami nating napagkwentuhan nun –
Yung childhood days mo sa probinsya,
Mga ibig sabihin ng mga kanta,
Saka kung anu-ano pa.

Nakaka-miss ka naman.
Salamat naging close tayo.
Salamat sa pagkakaibigan.
Ang tanong, hanggang dun na lang ba talaga?

Hahaha uy wag mong seryosohin!
Pero kung gusto mo, pwede rin. 😉
Pero kahit gustuhin pa natin
Di naman pwede e, alanganin.

Basta.
May basta kasi.
Ayoko nang sumingit.
Ayoko namang mangulit.

Ayoko ring umasa
Kasi wala naman talaga.
Titingin na lang ako sa buwan
Tapos aalalahanin kita 🙂