Nagbasa ako ng drafts ko, andami na pala! I’ve been holding back some thoughts and emotions, ewan ko kung bakit. Gusto kong i-share pero ayoko. Siguro natatakot akong mag-overshare kaya nagkaganun. Or natakot akong ma-expose ako. O basta, ayoko lang. Baka naging mas maingat ako. Nalito kasi ako ano ba ang dapat kinukwento at ano ang hindi. Baka nakakasakit na pala ako o baka ako na pala yung nasasaktan kakakwento. Wehehe. Pero sabi nga ng bestfriend ko, okay lang magkwento, basta sa safe person. Owyeah. Thank you sa mga safe person sa buhay ko. Maraming salamat po, friends!
Haha narealize ko, pag sobrang halaga sa akin ng topic, bina-blog ko. Usapang pangarap, crush, memories, friendship, family love, pa-deep thoughts. Amazing na pag may napagkukwentuhan, bigla kong sasabihin, “Uy wait, may blog ako tungkol dyan.” Tapos pag binasa ko, grabe swak pa rin sa line of thinking ko. Haha. Amazing. Buti nahilig ako sa pagsusulat. At buti din, nagstart ako ng blog five years ago. Hehe. Truly, one of my online treasures ♥
Siguro itong guarding your heart ay parang paglalagay ng password sa isang post.
After mo kasing lagyan ng password, automatic sasabihin na ng blog na “Protected” yung post na yun, kailangan ng password para mabasa yun. At syempre di malalaman ng iba yung password, unless hingin nila sayo at ibigay mo, o kahit hindi nila hingin pero binigay mo nang kusa. Ooooh.
Hindi magbabago yung laman ng post, ganun pa rin yun– yung words, tono, at emosyon, ganun pa rin. Ang kaibahan lang, hindi na open para mabasa ng lahat. Authentic pa rin, hindi lang for all to see. Pwede.
Siguro nga related ang guarding your heart sa paglalagay ng password. Yung feelings at emosyon, ganun pa rin. Hindi kailangang magpanggap o magkunwaring walang nararamdaman, pero hindi na for all to see. May limit lang ang makakaalam– yung mga pagbibigyan mo ng password. Ikaw bahala kung kanino mo ibibigay yun. Pwedeng ibigay mo kay friend dahil hiningi niya at may tiwala ka naman sa kanya. Pwede ring gusto mo lang ipabasa kay another friend, kaya binigay mo rin sa kanya.
So, ayun, protected na ang blog post, gwardyado na ang puso, ang tanong na lang, kanino mo ibibigay ang password?
Finally, I am pushed to write again! I still don’t know what to write now but I hope this would make sense as I go on.
Oh, I’ve been thinking on writing why I blog, maybe now’s the time to do it. Or not. Haha.
My younger cousin is kind of distracting me now; I can’t concentrate. Hmm. Do I really need to concentrate?
Twenty minutes. What can be done in twenty minutes aside from writing my thoughts? Review for LET, make my bed, prepare my materials for classroom decoration, dream, watch TV, rest and take a nap, or just stare somewhere. :p But I choose to write. I miss writing. I don’t care much of my cousin singing the Let it go again and again. (Oh, good news! He left the room just now. Haha.)
Why am I writing?
When I was in college, our professor in Creative Writing class instructed us to have a writing journal and write in it everyday. We may write anything – poems, stories, jokes, quotes, conversations, thoughts, memories, etc. I choose to write memories because they are important to me. I love reminiscing memories, especially the happy ones. And what I love even more is when I read those memories after a year, a month, or even just after a day. 🙂 Oh, I miss writing. I haven’t wrote any memory for the past, uhm, twenty days (?)
Writing. To be a good writer, one must be a good reader. This is my problem. I don’t read as much as my friends do. Oh, actually, I read books such as devotional books and inspirational books but not much on stories or novels. Honestly, I feel kind of insecure because I know I don’t read much. Okay. Too much on that topic. Or maybe not.
I want to share the book I read most: the Bible. I just realized the Bible contains stories. Haha, all this time I thought I was not reading stories, silly me. (Argh, many thoughts are popping in my head. I can’t write everything! They’re too fast to be processed and encoded. Huhu.)
Now, where am I?
Oh, twenty minutes is over. Hihi. That was fast.
My first writing assignment. 😀
Just some history on my blogging. Hohoho.
July 2012. I started blogging but left it when I noticed I was getting too sentimental on my posts. It was supposed to be a collection of experiences that brings me peace, but eventually it seemed to be just an outlet of my secret thoughts and masked emotions. Oooh.
April 2013. I started another blog about growing up but it lasted only for almost four months. I lost interest in maintaining it because it wasn’t that visually appealing to me. Yeah, I should have changed the theme but I didn’t know there were a lot of colorful, bright and sunny themes available in WordPress so I settled for the plain, simple and more serious themes then. Seriously. Haha. Or maybe I was just too impatient to wait for the themes to load. Silly me.
August 2013. I stopped blogging. I settled with my Practicum and Quiet Time journals. But I kept on reading blogs which inspire me to create mine also.
January 2014. My sister and I were talking about blogs and websites when I remembered Weebly, a site I used to make a blog as a requirement in one of my subjects in college. My excitement rushed in and I just found myself browsing my blogs then. I got inspired. Ideas came one after another on how my blog would look like, what I would share, how often would I post on it and all the things about blogging that I could think of. That night, I created a new blog. In Weebly.
I needed it, I thought. I want a fresh start. I’m leaving the serious world of WordPress. I started my new blog, enjoyed laying-out my posts, and expressed my enthusiasm and idealism to reach the Filipino youth through my blog. Hahaha.
6 March 2014. I noticed how much time I had spent on blogging. It isn’t good to give so much of my time on this, I realized. I left my blog for a while and told myself I need to regulate my online hours. During those days, I happened to drop by my roommate’s blog. Oh, I missed WordPress. I wanted to go back so I could follow her. Also, I felt the need to belong in a community of bloggers, even though I don’t usually let others read my thoughts because of my inferiority and insecurity issues when it comes to writing. But yeah, I wanted to be back.
And so I am back. 🙂 Haha. It was a great deal contemplating if leaving my newly started blog would really do me good. I even talked this over with my sister, and gratefully, an insight came. I’m going back to WordPress but will not totally abandon Weebly. My WordPress would be my official blog; my Weebly could just be my portfolio of cut-out paintings and other works that inspire me. Yey!
10 March 2014. I created this new blog for a fresher start. I invested time in searching for the theme that appeals to me at the moment. I posted my thoughts on starting again and reflected on what I should post in here.
This is it! I hope I made the right decision. Hahaha. Haha. Hope I won’t have to leave this again some time in the future. No, please. Hihi.
This is in response to the Daily Prompt: If You Leave.
I’m back. I am not yet sure with what I’m doing. Will I really be blogging here for real? We’ll see. I hope so.
Hi WordPress. I tried to leave you in search of a fresh start, but here I am again starting another blog with you. Argh, why can’t I stick to just one blog?
Just mean hope. Oops, the lines above doesn’t deserve to be in this blog. How can those questions and indecisiveness mean hope?
Hmm. Hopelessness. Insecurity. Inferiority. Getting discouraged. Giving up. Quitting. These words don’t mean hope. I hope I will see not even a hint of these in my newest blog. I hope so. Hihihi. I’m letting them go. Shoo!
There. I just really had to type those discouraging words. Sometimes, that’s all I need to do to get loose and be free of expressing myself. Okay, Jas. No more insecurities and inferiorities. Just write. Do not be discouraged. This blog need not be perfect. Just let your creative brain do the writing. And don’t forget your blog’s purpose: to share God’s message of hope. Keep that always in mind. As much as possible, avoid ranting. Hahaha. There, there. Thanks for smiling, Jas, I now see a glimpse of hope in this blog. Haha. Yey!
Just mean hope. What do I mean by this? It actually came from my name: Jasmin Hope which means hope for the flowers.
When I think of flowers, I see little girls smiling, playing and running freely; I hear them giggle at their funny stories; I feel the rush of wind and the heat of sun striking my brown skin as I sit under the shade of a tree; I smell the bouquet of white roses that I will soon be receiving from my secret admirer; and I taste the sweet victory of discovering and achieving my dream.
Yea, Hope for the flowers means giving hope to little children, especially girls; sharing hope through uplifting stories; not losing hope for the environment; hoping and waiting for my best partner in life; and empowering people to dream and to hope for a bright future.
This is about playtime, stories, God’s creation, love, dreams and success. This is about me being a kid at heart, a friend, a nature lover, a lady, a teacher, a dreamer; a child of God, a friend of Jesus, a steward of His creation, a woman after God’s own heart, a teacher of His Word, a messenger of God’s Hope.
Sharing God’s message of hope. This is my mission. All by God’s grace, for God’s glory alone. 🙂