Praying Jassy, where na you?

Talked to old time friends today– a college friend and a coteacher.

Nakakamiss! Daming napag-usapan.

What I appreciated, pareho nilang nabanggit ang relationship nila sa Diyos. Oooooh.

Sabi ni college friend, amazed sya sa grace ni God nung may pinagdaanan sya sa buhay. Hindi raw kasi hinayaan ni Lord na mawalan sya ng faith during those times.

Sabi ni coteacher, natuto syang magdasal ngayong pandemic. Nagpe-pray daw sya umaga at gabi. Napaamin sya na hindi nya kaya lahat, kailangan nyang mag-rely kay God.

While listening to their stories, napapa-reflect ako, “Anyare sayo, Jas? Kumusta relasyon mo sa Diyos?”

Hayyy Jassygirl!

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Okay, grab ko na itong space to pray:

Lord, di ko rin po alam anyare sa akin. Well, somehow alam ko. Marami kasing ganap sa paligid. Sunod-sunod. Kwarto, feedback, gas, pag-ignore, Jared, super closure, 2021. Mabigat. Malungkot. There were times when I felt unimportant, rejected, hindi napapahalagahan, laging kailangang mag-adjust, nate-take advantage, napapabayaan. I felt sad, uncertain, angry, tampororot. Acads wise, naisip ko rin na hindi ako magaling, nagpapanggap lang, tamad. Ang saklap! Sa relationships, naisip ko na baka I am too much, o kaya naman, not enough. Lord, alam nyo po lahat ng feelings ko na yan. Malungkot talaga. 😦 Patong-patong. Sunod-sunod. Nakaka-drain.

Lord, may mga requirements po akong hindi pa napapasa. I need to focus. Wala akong natatapos. Hindi ko na alam magpush ng sarili na gumawa. Tulungan nyo po ako Jesus. Hindi ko po ito kaya on my own. Help me, Lord. Amen.

I wish

Madaming triggers these past days. Tambak yung emosyon. Ang lungkot. So, umakyat ako ng puno, tumanaw sa paligid, nagmuni-muni, kumanta, nakipagkwentuhan kay God, at di pinigilang umiyak. Bumaba ako nung umaambon na, nagduyan, at nag-compose ng kanta. Wahahaha kaya ko pala?? 😉

I wish everything would be okay
I want to escape from all this pain
I was expecting a sunny day
but suddenly, it began to rain

When can I rest?
When can I find peace?
When will this heartache end?
Can broken hearts really mend?

I wish everything would be okay
coz I want to learn to smile again.

*haha di pala pwedeng mag-upload ng video pag di naka-premium. I-record ko na lang tas upload ko, tapos lagay ko dito link. Okay, assignment ko yan. Hehe. 😉 Post ko na lang din scene na nakita ko from up the tree.

 

Closing prayer

Binalikan ko ang aking 2019 ganaps. Amazing, nakaka-bless.

Thank You Lord for a wonderful year! Hindi mo po ako iniwan kahit gaano ako kapasaway. Salamat po. Salamat po sa nth chance para magbagong buhay at magbalik-loob sayo. Let me live my life na napapangiti kita. Sana maging pleasing po sa inyo lagi ang iniisip, sinasabi, at ginagawa ko. This is it, Lord. Bagong simula. Iwan na po natin ang nakaraan. Ready na po ako sa hinanda nyo sa akin for this year. Be with me always, Jesus. I love you po.

Salamat po sa panahong binigay nyo sa akin para magmuni-muni. Salamat sa mga taong nakausap, mga lugar na napuntahan, mga thoughts na nasulat at nadrowing at nakanta. Magmumove-on na po ako. HAHAHA. Be with me, Lord. Amen.

Keep me near

Jesus keep me near to Your heart
For outside of You I’m lost
Draw me in the tide of Your will
Lead me as I yield myself to You
Keep me near Your heart
Keep me near Your heart

Rescue me in weakness of mind
When distraction conquers me
Keep me in Your shadow oh Lord
Give me grace to follow where You lead
Keep me near Your heart
Keep me near Your heart

For You are everything that is beautiful
And You are all that I long to see in me
You are everything that is beautiful
Breathe Your desires in me

Keep me in the place where You are
For Your presence is my joy
Break my selfish nature and pride
Mould a life of loyalty to You
Keep me near Your heart
Keep me near Your heart

Form in us a heart of divine beauty

Number 1 prayer item

Why do we have the tendency to care so much for other people but not that much with our family? Bakit andami nating time para sa iba, pero sa sariling pamilya kulang na kulang? How much does our family matter to us? Gaano natin pinapahalagahan ang ating pamilya? Do I still pray for our family? Kelan ko huling pinagpray ang pamilya namin?

Ooooh. Siguro ito na nga ang gagawin ko for 26 days (or nights). I will pray for our family. Intentionally. Tamaa!

Lord, I pray for more quality time together with Papa, Mama, Ate Win, Ate Mai, and Bok. Amen.

God’s response to my drama

February 23, 2017

Jas,

Live a life of prayer. Yan na muna sa ngayon. Don’t be so busy doing things for me to the point that you have no time left for me. Put me first in everything that you do. From the moment you wake up to the time you sleep. Live a life of prayer, Jas. Pray. Talk to me. And please, listen. Listen to me. Listen to what I’m saying.

Then things will go well with you and you will have great success. Your success will be based on the people who came to know Me through your life. Share My love for everyone. Talk about Me. Tama na siguro muna ang crush talks at nonsense talks. Ako naman ang ibida mo ngayon. Nalimutan mo na ba ang mga ginawa ko para sayo? Wala ka na bang bagong kwento tungkol sa pagmamahal ko sayo? Be observant, Jas. Andito lang ako lagi sa tabi mo.

Lastly, if you want to walk on water
you’ve got to get out of the boat.

Wag kang makontento sa nakasanayan mo na. Go. Live out My dreams for you. Marami pa kong gustong ipagawa sayo. Hindi ka pa mamamatay. Ang tanong, handa ka na bang sumunod? I’ve been preparing you since Day 1. Alam mo naman kung saan kita tinatawag, tama ba? O hanggang ngayon denial ka pa rin? Don’t worry, Jas, kilala kita. Alam kong sigurista ka, gusto mo malinaw ang lahat. Akong bahala. Ako mismo ang kakausap sayo.

Di na ako magpapaliguy-ligoy pa. Basta, makinig ka lang. Marami akong plano para sayo Jas. Humanda ka na. I love you.

Time to sleep!

My father had just saw me in front of my laptop and reminded me that it’s already time to sleep. I was about to call the day off when a memory about sleeping popped in my head.

When I was a child, we (the whole family) slept together in one room. Almost always, I was the last one to fall asleep. Thinking that my parents won’t sleep till they’re sure I’m already sleeping, I would intentionally move my arms or legs just so they would know that I am still awake. I didn’t want them to sleep. I wanted them to just watch over me. I was afraid that if they will sleep, I might wake up in the middle of the night, realize that I’m the only one awake and then start to experience scary things. Of course, I did not want that to happen. Just imagining that scene gave me anxiety. Really.

My father once noticed my behavior and asked me why I can’t get to sleep. He suggested that I imagine a herd of sheep jumping and then count them till they stop. I did it but that time I just really can’t sleep.
We tried flipping my pillow (they say flipping pillows help people of any age get to sleep faster), but it didn’t work.

Then my father asked, “Have you prayed?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Oh, that’s why you can’t seem to sleep. Okay, let us pray.”
And so we prayed.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray Thee, Lord, Your child to keep
Your love guard me through the night
And wake me in the morning light.
Amen.

My parents taught this prayer to us and till now, I still sing this good night prayer song. This reassures me that I need not be afraid (even when I wake up in the middle of the night while everybody is sleeping) because God’s love will surely guard me through the night till I wake up in the morning light.

Thank You, God. Thank You for watching over me every day and every night. Amen.

Why I read the Bible

2 Timothy 3:16-17 Good News Translation (GNT)

¹⁶ All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the truth, rebuking error, correcting faults, and giving instruction for right living,¹⁷ so that the person who serves God may be fully qualified and equipped to do every kind of good deed.

Why do we read the Bible? Why do we pray? Is this just to gain favor from God? Or so that we could feel spiritual? Out of obligation or guilt?

Why do I read the Bible? Why do I pray?

 

It started one summer when I taught children that they should read their Bibles and pray every day, only to realize that I, their teacher, wasn’t doing it myself! From our lesson, we learned that by doing those, we would grow as a better child of God because we would know how to live rightly in God’s eyes, and so I committed myself to reading the Bible and praying every day.

As I soaked into God’s Word, I learned more truths about God. I learned that He is holy and that He loves what is right. And that He created you and me. I also learned that I am sinful. Believe me, I didn’t know it before. All my life I thought I was a good girl until I read a Bible verse talking about sins we should not do. The verse struck me coz I was doing all those, and so I realized I needed to be changed. And that I needed a Savior who could change me.

Since then, I started reading the Bible with a fresh perspective. I saw the words come alive and speak to me. I began to take each words and phrases personally and applied in my life what I have learned from it. I enjoyed reading Bible stories, letters from Paul, and the life of Jesus Christ written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I believe that God’s Word has worked in my life and it really changed me.

Until now, I still read the Bible, not so I could brag it around, but so that my relationship with God would deepen and grow. I read the Bible so that I could know how to live right in the eyes of God, so that I could have a self-check with my motives, so that my negative attitudes would be changed, so that I can have a direction in life.

Reading the Bible always comes with praying. I pray before reading. I pray as I read. And I pray after. I do it because I know I could not understand God’s Word on my own. I know I need guidance from the Holy Spirit so that I could better hear and understand what He wants to say. And also, I need to lift up my heart to God so He can cleanse it and open it to His Word. Without God, I know I wouldn’t be able to comprehend what I am reading. And praying changes me. Yeah, I know it is God who changes me, not the prayer. But what I mean is, I see myself change, or should I say, have a change of mind and change of heart, every after my prayer time with God, when I have spent more time communicating with God as He reveals His glory to me and showers His grace upon me.

Thank You, Lord for everything. These means of grace – reading the Bible and praying, has changed me a lot. Indeed, I have grown so much, thanks to You, God. 🙂

Be with me through this 40-day journey as we approach and celebrate Your resurrection. May I keep on reading Your Word and on praying every single day, and forever as long as I live. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

 

Your turn: Why do you read the Bible? How does reading the Bible help you grow?

Not just another noise

“Words”
by Hawk Nelson

They’ve made me feel like a prisoner
They’ve made me feel set free
They’ve made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king

They’ve lifted my heart
To places I’d never been
And they’ve dragged me down
Back to where I began

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

You can heal the heartache
Speak over the fear
God, Your voice is the only thing
We need to hear

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

Let the words I say
Be the sound of Your grace
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

I wanna speak Your love
Not just another noise
Oh, I wanna be Your light
I wanna be Your voice

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

Let the words I say
Be the sound of Your grace
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts
Or put it out

I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

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Yes, Lord, I don’t wanna say a word unless it points the world back to You. I wanna speak Your love, not just another noise. Oh, I wanna be Your light, I wanna be Your voice. Let my words be life, let my words be truth. Let this be my prayer and commitment for this 30-day blogging challenge. 🙂 Amen. ❤

Prayer Time

Mama left for Singapore early this morning and she’ll be back on November 8. As usual, we prayed together before she left. Mama was about to start the prayer when Papa said, “Okay, Jas, lead the prayer.”

Oooh, that was something new. Mama seconded that I lead the family in prayer. She told me to pray for her.

Yes, of course, I thought.

Then she said, “Pray also for the patience of all of you here at home.”

And so I prayed. I prayed for Mama’s safety and fulfillment on her travel. Then I prayed for a productive weekend for all of us left at home. I hesitated to pray for more patience, concerned that they might get offended. I wanted to pray for more love at home, but I held back my words. It was kind of awkward to say it aloud. I mean, how would everyone react if they hear the phrase more love at home? (We don’t usually talk about love at home hehe.)

The prayer ended without me saying all that I wanted to lift up to God in prayer. Oh, next prayer time if I’ll be asked to lead again, I hope I could say my prayer without reservations. 🙂

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Upon writing this, I realized we should start talking about love little by little so that it won’t keep on being a taboo inside our home. Maybe by saying and hearing the word love more often, we could be able to express our love for each other more naturally. Oh yeah! HAHA