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Letting go Part 1

Waaaah. Ooooooooh. Does it spark joy?

Okay, let me face the truth. Yes, it indeed sparks joy. I know how excited I am to write a book, to learn a new subject, to plan things out, to work with a highschool classmate. I know. I know it sparks joy. But sadly, I have turned down the opportunity. But why?

I can’t believe I’m feeling this way,
can’t believe I’d admit this to myself.
And honestly, I can’t believe I have let go of the opportunity huhuhu

Lord, I just hope I made the right decision. Help me move on. Amen.

I still want to speak. But I don’t know what to say.
But I want to know why I am feeling this way.
I want to understand what’s happening inside.

Maybe I feel this way because this is my first time to not grab an opportunity.
It feels
so weird.
I am not comfortable with it,
I feel uneasy, unsettled,
coz what I know is that opportunities are meant to be grabbed.
But maybe
some opportunities
are really meant to be ignored.
Maybe. Ooooh. Haha. Hehe.

Siguro nga.

HAHAHA.
So far that’s the most convincing justification I’ve thought of.
YeheyyyyhahahapushtamanaangpanghihinayangmoveonnatayoJashahaha! πŸ™‚

———————————

Grabe, Lord, thank you po. Indeed, thank you for helping me move on. Ilang araw na akong nahihirapan dahil sa panghihinayang. Pero siguro nga, may mga bagay talagang kailangang i-let go. Hindi kailangang i-grab lahat ng opportunity lalo na kung medyo alanganin at mako-compromise ang pagiging tapat at totoo, at posible ring ma-compromise ang mga dapat na priority ko sa ngayon. Tama nga naman. Haaayyyyy. So mukhang kailangan ko na talagang tapusin ang panghihinayang sa librong hindi naisulat, at hintayin ang susunod na pagkakataong makapagsulat. Sana nga may dumating pa. At pagdating nun, sana pwede ko nang sunggaban ang pagkakataon.

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Nothing on the floor!

Lagi yang bilin sakin ni Mama pag pumapasok siya sa kwarto ko. Andami ko raw papel, tiket ng bus, balat ng kendi, tisyu ng Jollibee, at kung ano pang mga anik-anik at abubot na di ko na raw kailangan.
Aba, e mahirap kayang magtapon! Lalo na kung artist ka kagaya ko! Gagamitin ko pa yan sa cut out paintings ko (Hehe o baka palusot ko na lang yun hmmm)

Kada new year, sinisikap kong bawasan ang collection ko.
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