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Letting go Part 1

Waaaah. Ooooooooh. Does it spark joy?

Okay, let me face the truth. Yes, it indeed sparks joy. I know how excited I am to write a book, to learn a new subject, to plan things out, to work with a highschool classmate. I know. I know it sparks joy. But sadly, I have turned down the opportunity. But why?

I can’t believe I’m feeling this way,
can’t believe I’d admit this to myself.
And honestly, I can’t believe I have let go of the opportunity huhuhu

Lord, I just hope I made the right decision. Help me move on. Amen.

I still want to speak. But I don’t know what to say.
But I want to know why I am feeling this way.
I want to understand what’s happening inside.

Maybe I feel this way because this is my first time to not grab an opportunity.
It feels
so weird.
I am not comfortable with it,
I feel uneasy, unsettled,
coz what I know is that opportunities are meant to be grabbed.
But maybe
some opportunities
are really meant to be ignored.
Maybe. Ooooh. Haha. Hehe.

Siguro nga.

HAHAHA.
So far that’s the most convincing justification I’ve thought of.
YeheyyyyhahahapushtamanaangpanghihinayangmoveonnatayoJashahaha! 🙂

———————————

Grabe, Lord, thank you po. Indeed, thank you for helping me move on. Ilang araw na akong nahihirapan dahil sa panghihinayang. Pero siguro nga, may mga bagay talagang kailangang i-let go. Hindi kailangang i-grab lahat ng opportunity lalo na kung medyo alanganin at mako-compromise ang pagiging tapat at totoo, at posible ring ma-compromise ang mga dapat na priority ko sa ngayon. Tama nga naman. Haaayyyyy. So mukhang kailangan ko na talagang tapusin ang panghihinayang sa librong hindi naisulat, at hintayin ang susunod na pagkakataong makapagsulat. Sana nga may dumating pa. At pagdating nun, sana pwede ko nang sunggaban ang pagkakataon.

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Aside
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First, I would like to thank Writing 101 for reminding me to just let go of my thoughts and emotions as I write. Thank you. 🙂

Hmm. Three most important songs in my life?

  1. May galak, may saya
  2. Free to dance
  3. Can’t take that away from me

I love singing May galak, May saya. I smile whenever I sing it. Even now as I hum it to myself, I can’t help but smile. This song reminds me that with God, there is joy, peace, and strength; there is singing, dancing, and praising.  Sapagkat hirap ng puso ay naglalaho.  This line refreshes me because it seems to really take away everything that’s making my heart feel heavy. 🙂 And truly, all these singing, dancing, and praising are brought by a rejoicing and blessed heart (hatid ng pusong pinagpala Niyang lubos). ❤ Yey! Thank you Lord. 🙂

Next song, Free to Dance. I remember the time I felt so down that I wanted to escape from all my responsibilities. I dwelt on my negative thoughts for quite a long time (around two weeks? or three?).  Then a friend lent me her book, Heidi.  I read how Heidi was so carefree and, uhm, and free! HAHA. She was so spontaneous and appreciative that everything around her seemed perfect.  I realized then that I want to be like her, just as who I was before.  When I came back to my jolly self, Free to Dance captured it all.

 

I’ll sing in the darkness, I’ll laugh in the rain; rejoice in your love again.

It’s your song of freedom, now I’m free to dance again. 🙂

Haay! I really love this song. :)))

 

Last but not the least is Can’t take that away from me by Mariah Carey.  I first heard this song in highschool.  I was feeling very down then because of the pressure I get from my coach while reviewing Mathematics alone in the faculty room all day. (Well, I think, alone all day is an exaggeration. Haha. Bare with me, I was depressed those times. HAHA) I was feeling low when a close friend entered the room.  I shared how I feel and then she took her MP3 player in her bag and lent it to me. She played the song and handed the player to me; then she bid goodbye. I sat down, trying to guess what song it was as the instrumental was playing.  It was a new song to me. The lyrics hit me. A tear dropped.  Then another.  I cried. I didn’t expect I would cry.  The words. They were exactly how I feel. I was having my moment when she entered the room again and, of course, she saw me crying. HAHA. HAHAHA.

 

My third writing assignment:

Writing 101, Day Three: Commit to a Writing Practice