Letting go Part 1

Waaaah. Ooooooooh. Does it spark joy?

Okay, let me face the truth. Yes, it indeed sparks joy. I know how excited I am to write a book, to learn a new subject, to plan things out, to work with a highschool classmate. I know. I know it sparks joy. But sadly, I have turned down the opportunity. But why?

I can’t believe I’m feeling this way,
can’t believe I’d admit this to myself.
And honestly, I can’t believe I have let go of the opportunity huhuhu

Lord, I just hope I made the right decision. Help me move on. Amen.

I still want to speak. But I don’t know what to say.
But I want to know why I am feeling this way.
I want to understand what’s happening inside.

Maybe I feel this way because this is my first time to not grab an opportunity.
It feels
so weird.
I am not comfortable with it,
I feel uneasy, unsettled,
coz what I know is that opportunities are meant to be grabbed.
But maybe
some opportunities
are really meant to be ignored.
Maybe. Ooooh. Haha. Hehe.

Siguro nga.

So far that’s the most convincing justification I’ve thought of.
YeheyyyyhahahapushtamanaangpanghihinayangmoveonnatayoJashahaha! ๐Ÿ™‚


Grabe, Lord, thank you po. Indeed, thank you for helping me move on. Ilang araw na akong nahihirapan dahil sa panghihinayang. Pero siguro nga, may mga bagay talagang kailangang i-let go. Hindi kailangang i-grab lahat ng opportunity lalo na kung medyo alanganin at mako-compromise ang pagiging tapat at totoo, at posible ring ma-compromise ang mga dapat na priority ko sa ngayon. Tama nga naman. Haaayyyyy. So mukhang kailangan ko na talagang tapusin ang panghihinayang sa librong hindi naisulat, at hintayin ang susunod na pagkakataong makapagsulat. Sana nga may dumating pa. At pagdating nun, sana pwede ko nang sunggaban ang pagkakataon.


Happy and meaningful 2017


Things and events that will make my 2017 happy and meaningful ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. Closer relationship with God through daily Bible reading and praying, listening to songs, reading books, writing reflections, and sharing God’s word to more people.
  2. More time for family meals, family kwentuhan and bonding โค
  3. Bok attending church regularly again, hopefully before we celebrate our 25th birthday. ๐Ÿ™‚
  4. More organized room (and the whole house), less clutter, more space for breathing.
  5. Soft-launch of our Crismo Dream Library, with books well-sorted and children enjoying reading the books.
  6. Punctual Jassy, never late for work, at church, in meeting friends, etc.
  7. A God-centered 25th birthday celebration, whether thru a concert, exhibit, pakain, or whatever it may be.
  8. Grabbed and maximized opportunities to share God’s word and God’s love in word and in deed, inside the bus, in our neighborhood, at work, at home, with friends, etc. (Hope I could write those stories!)
  9. Jassy filled with joy, strength, wisdom, and courage to share God’s love to the world. ๐Ÿ™‚ โค

Ginusto ko pero

Ginusto kong gumawa ng kanta
Pero parang sa akin, di yun natural
Ginusto kong tumula
Pero kasi, di ako sa ganun kilala
Ginusto kong sumayaw
Pero di naman yata bagay
Ginusto kita
Pero alam kong di talaga tayo para sa isat-isa

Ginusto kong magseryoso
Pero di ko yata kayang hindi tumawa
Ginusto kong magtrabaho
Pero ang lakas kasi ng wi-fi
Ginusto ko naman talagang magsipag
Pero hinihila ako ng kama huhu
Ginusto kong humugot
Pero wala pala akong paghuhugutan

Ginusto kong paabutin ito sa 100 words
Pero wala na kong mapigang salita
Pero syempre gagawan ko ng paraan HAHAHA


Love letter na natanggap ko nung Feb

Dear Jas,

I love you. Lagi naman e. Kahit ano pang ginagawa mo, kahit busy ka pa sa ibang bagay o sa ibang tao, love pa rin kita. Hindi magbabago yun.

Oo nga, nakaka-miss din yung intimate Quiet times natin sa bubong o kaya sa court, pero alam mo, Jas, kahit nasaan ka pa, sa kwarto o sa sasakyan, naririnig kita. Wag kang mag-alala. Naririnig kita. Kausapin mo lang ako. Kahit sa isip lang o sa bulong, kahit di ka magsulat, pinapakinggan kita. Pero syempre, mainam na magsulat ka, para meron kang record at reminder na rin ng pag-ibig ko sayo.

Jas, tandaan mo, natutuwa ako pag ako ang inuuna mo imbes na yung cellphone mo. Nakakalungkot pag naisasantabi mo ang panahon mo para sa akin pero kahit na ganun, tandaan mo, sa tuwing babalik ka, handa akong yakapin ka nang mahigpit.

With much love,
God โค


Education in Agoo

We are on our way to Baguio and just earlier, I saw a sign that points the way to Agoo. My college field trip in that place suddenly flashed back.

Our trip to Agoo was one of my best field trips because of the inspiration I got from it. I love the place not because of awesome landmarks or whatsoever but because of its number 1 priority, which is education. I really love them for that hehe

The previous and present mayors of the town of Agoo prioritize education. And they really mean it! Aside from the formal public schools, they also provide alternative forms of education. They have established many centers for Alternative Learning System, from playing musical instruments to gardening to making products from recycled materials. Their Maximum Recovery Facility is ย well-organized. Their market is clean and has a library! Yes, an airconditioned library with Wi-fi, so children can read while their parents are busy shopping in the market. They also value adult education and so teach lolos and lolas to read. Wow talaga.

The crime rate in Agoo is almost 0%, and I believe it is because the people there are well-educated. They know right from wrong, and know they should do the right thing. They are empowered and so they dream big. If only the whole country would prioritize education too! Instead of killing people, why not educate them? Especially the young people. They should be educated and empowered as early as now.

Oh, dear government officials, ano nga ba ang priority niyo? Can’t you see education is the key? Well, let me clear, education is not only about exams and grades, if that’s what you think. Education is what we can give to the next generation so they can be equipped for life’s greater challenges. Education lets us use what we already know and work on what we need to know more. Education prepares us mentally, physicaly, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. And above all else, education helps us discover the Big Dream that God has for us and the Big Need that we will be catering so we can live a full and meaningful life.

Haha if I will join Miss Universe, this would be my advocacy: Education for all! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks to Agoo for the inspiration! โค


Writing memories

If I am to write a book, it would be about my memories. Those are my treasures and I want to immortalize them by writing them down in a book.

When I was in college, a classmate told me that I write my memories too long. I really felt down those times and tried to limit all my journal entries to just 100 words. Then little by little, I felt so restricted that I became reserved in writing down what I really want to say.

Tonight, I am giving myself permission to write memories using all the words I need. (I actually intended to write this particular entry using 100 words, but HAHA I want to break that for now) May this entry remind me to write from the heart, without any reservations :)) (Though, of course, there will be times when I will choose to use just 100 words in writing down my memories, and that’s okay. I don’t see any problem with that at all. Hehehe) ๐Ÿ™‚ โค


Five minute-break

Yes, hello. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it’s time to stop for a while and write some stuff in my head. Well, to be honest, many thoughts are popping in my head right now and I can’t choose which to write. Hmmmmmm…

Just this week, uhm. Wait, let me rephrase hehe.

Uhm, little by little, I’m starting to… learn that…

Life is not about our profession. Not about our money. Not about what we do for a living. Not about our plans. Not about our dreams. It’s all about relationships. Our relationship with God, and our relationship with others. It is important that in all that we do, we show our love to God and to others. โค

With this realization, I feel blessed. I feel relieved. I feel free hehe because I need not worry too much on the specifics of life. As long as I pursue my relationship with God and let the love of God flow to the people around me, I know I can live the life God wants me to have. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank You Lord. Amen!